First of all let me tell you that this is not meant in anyway to offend any birdwatchers.
We like it ourselves but are just looking at it from a different (hopefully humerous) perspective.
We are called Michael and Chris and we are from 'Ull, East Yorkshire, England.
We would prefer to be known as Jacko and Kempy innit!
We aren't chavs really but the odd f*ck*ng geek we see while out twitching gives us funny looks or tuts and makes us kind of not fit in. C*nts!
Perhaps this is because we always dress in Blue, Instead of traditional Khaki Green or camoflage, and we wear trainers... And the occasional baseball cap!
We don't sit about in hides scanning flocks of gulls or ducks for hours on end (cos its well gay!).
We just like the fresh air, the walk, the nature, and the chance to see the odd horny horse-rider chick give us a wave ;)
Chav Twitching 10 commandments:
1.Thou shall always wear blue.
2.Thou shall always call hides - STASHES.
3.Thou shall never put a camera on a tripod or pillow, Handheld all the way!!!
4.Thou shall not tell friends where you really went at the weekend.
5.Thou shall not admit to knowing anything about birds until she is smitten.
6.Thou shall not be seen dead with bins round neck..full stop!
7.Thou shall never pays subs or purchase a pager!
8.Thou shall not travel the length of the country for a new tick.
9.Thou shall have as many feeders in garden as poss to encourage raptors.
10.Thou shall not have a Life list, Yorkshire list, Year list or Bogey birds.
1 comment:
As a nefarious chav 'hater' as you underclasses like to label it i feel the need to respond to your absurd blog. What kind of names are Jacko and Kempy, did your retarded cousin come up with those. So from here on I shall refer to you as Michael and Christopher. As im sure your aware that anything other than a full 3 piece suit (and double barreled shotgun for record shots)when out birding is a disgrace in aesthetics, therefore i officially ex-communicate you from the birding community. Id like to give you my 10 commandments of birding
1) Shoot chavs on site, they shouldnt be off the council estate and definitelly not in the country. They might spoil it.
2) Its not a hide or a stash, its a chavs whorehouse, where Tracy and Stacy double team the local 'punters'
3) Pillows are de rigeur when photographing although i use mine for resting on when the stablegirl visits.
4) Thou shalt tell all your friends where you went this weekend. St. Tropez darling.
5) Never admit your a bird watcher, your a hornithologist. She'll like that!
6) Never go near bins, they smaell like chavs. I use looking glasses personally.
7) Rare and beautiful birds should be seen and then shot and mounted for posterity. So that Lord Cholomondly-Warner can't tick it.
8) Never use a pager, just pay the serfs to find the birds for you.
9) Raptors should be shot (discretely by your gamekeeper) they kill the grouse and partridges. You can stuff them and mount them so Lord Cholomondley-Warner cant tick them off.
10) You should record and list everything from a heard on the toilet list to a world list. Those that dont are eejits.
Yours graciously,
Anthony Roland Windsor-Stephenson
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